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Being with Lari was a whole new experience for me. It was my first time in such an intense relationship where my whole life seems to revolve around a man. I was truly in love, to the extent that a day without seeing my love was like torture.
Ronke , my friend and neighbour in the estate, noticing the way I felt about Lari tried to caution me.
Being with Lari was a whole new experience for me. It was my first time in such an intense relationship where my whole life seems to revolve around a man. I was truly in love, to the extent that a day without seeing my love was like torture.
"Jummi , it's good you've got a lover. Welcome to the club! I have been telling you to get a real man who can do the 'job' since your husband is incapable," she said bluntly.
She was an expert in that, dating outside marriage. The third wife of a polygamous man, whom she hardly saw as they lived apart, she kept two boyfriends whom as she put it, 'make me happy and feel like a woman!'
"But Jummi, you have to know how to play this game. You can have a lover but the first rule is: never fall in love with him. That complicates things," she advised. "What you are doing is nothing new. A lot of married women these days keep lovers outside their marriage especially in this Lagos. Some of them you see acting all holy and righteous are the worst. Some of these older women, whose husbands don't have time for them, date young guys whom they pay for their 'services'.
"No one should blame the women though. Afterall , our men have the liberty to marry as many wives as they want, keep mistresses all over the place, but women are supposed to stay faithful and 'pure', simply sit at home and wait for the man to return from frolicking with other women outside. It's time we joined them in the game!
But you have to be smart about it! Don't do anything to jeopardise your home, thereby losing your husband. You have to stay married whether you are happy in the marriage or not, because in our society, a woman without a husband has little respect," she stated.
Her advice came too late. I was hooked, addicted to Lari and there was nothing anyone could do about it.
All the same, I was careful and tried to hide the affair from my husband. It wasn't too difficult because he was hardly around. His work as a banker kept him very busy; he left home very early in the morning and returned late at night.
It was the same tight schedule I had kept when I worked as a banker too, but in another bank. Infact , Robby and I had met at a banking seminar in Abuja. It was after I had my son that he made me resign from my job so I could have time for the baby and the home front. To prevent boredom, he had opened the store or mini-mart as he prefers to call it, so I could have something to occupy myself with.
I sighed and remembering something, picked up my phone and dialed Lari's number.
"How's my baby doing today?"
"Fine," I replied. We had a date for the following day a Saturday when he would be off from work and my husband out of town on a trip to his village to visit his parents.
"He has cancelled the trip. He will be going in two weeks time. So..." I told him.
"Our date is off then?" he asked, sounding disappointed.
"I'm sorry, Lari. You know my husband likes to spend time with me and Jovi whenever he's off from work," I said.
"Your husband! That's all you think about. What about me?" he demanded, sounding pissed.
"Lari ! You know that's not true! I might bear his name but my heart and soul belong to you. And nothing can change that," I said reassuringly. "I promise to make it up to you," I added quickly.
That had been a problem in the months we had been together. Lari hated it when I had to leave him to be with Robby.
"Your husband always comes first," he often grumbled whenever I left him after a date to return home.
He was jealous of my husband and he did not hide it.
"You spend more time with him, I can't see you when I want especially at night. Truth is, I want you by my side always, to spend my days and nights with you, hold and love you..."
Decision time
He really meant it for some time later, when we met he said it was time we took our relationship to another stage.
"There is no one I want in this world more than you. You know that, don't you?" he said, drawing me close. I sighed, placing my head on his shoulder. We were sitting on the couch in his living room.
"I do. Me, too. But..." I started to say.
He looked at me keenly.
"Yes?" he prompted.
"It's not as easy as you think. I have responsibilities. To my husband, my child, my marriage," I explained.
"So? If you really love me, you'll let go of all those ties that keep you away from me, so we can be together, as our hearts desire. Or don't you want to be with me?" he queried.
"You know I do, Lari. Very much."
And I meant it. There was nothing I desired more in this world than be with my lover, Lari. But I'm no young, unattached single girl but a 31 year old, mature lady with a husband and child.
How do I break those ties without causing too much damage, hurting people?
Why does love, so sweet, so beautiful come with so much sorrow and pain? It's a question minds greater than mine have tried to analyse for ages without finding answers.
But I had to find answers to the dilemma I had found myself in by falling in love with Lari.
He wants me to leave my husband and be with him and to bring my son, Jovi with me. It's not as easy as that. Even if Robby, my husband should let me go, there was no way he would let me leave with Jovi.
And how could I leave my son behind to be raised by another woman if Robby decides to remarry? I could never allow that to happen. Neither could I leave Lari, the man my heart beats for, whom I'm ready to give everything up for his sake.
He was talking.
"The next time you come, you will have to choose- to stay here with me or remain with that man. So, what will it be?" he asked.
"Be patient, darling. You'll get your answer then," I said as I wound my arms round his neck and drew his face close.
"I hope it will be good," he noted. As he began to make love to me right there on the couch, I knew what my answer would be- a decision that will surely make him happy while leaving another man sad, confused, angry...
The End!
Names have been changed to protect the identity of the narrator and other individuals in the story.
Names have been changed to protect the identity of the narrator and other individuals in the story.
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