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good . Do whatever is best, my dear!"
Then I found my voice.
"Mom, is this a joke?" I asked.
"Why would I be joking or do I look like Basket-mouth?" she queried sharply.
I thought I was in a dream and would soon wake up. How could this be happening? My mother pick my wife? A virgin at that? A sophisticated city guy like me with a Masters degree, a great job and bright future prospects? To end up with a local girl with crude ways and mannerisms? No way, I shook my head.
"Your father and I discussed it extensively and arrived at the conclusion that, it is the best thing for you. So, what happened to your elder brother does not repeat itself. One divorce in the family is enough," she said.
My father. I can just imagine the conversation between them: "Dear, I think I've found a bride for Tamuno. She's a nice girl, well brought up, from a good family." And Father, peeping over the newspaper he had buried his face in, in the past hour or so, would respond: "That sounds
I sighed, knowing I would not get any support from Dad in my bid to wriggle out from the 'noose' my mother was tightening round my neck. I had to fight this battle myself or I was doomed.
"Mum, thanks for your concern over my love life and marital affairs. But, I can pick my wife myself. I know what I want, the type of woman I want to spend my life with. And I have found that in Efe. We are engaged already. She's the girl who has my heart," I argued.
"Then tell her to return your heart back to this house at once! There's no way I'll allow you marry that thing! And that's the last I want to hear on this matter!" she commanded, talking as if addressing her students on the assembly ground at school.
Knowing my mother, I knew it was pointless continuing the battle then. So, I kept my cool, waiting for a more appropriate time to resume 'hostilities.'
Meeting Eka
Making my mother change her mind over an issue is like trying to move Olumo rock with your bare hands. An impossible task. My father, knowing how stubborn she could be, learnt over the years to avoid getting into arguments with her. He left most matters, domestic or otherwise to her to take care of, 'for the sake of peace' as he often put it.
But I was not my father, so I continued the battle. For the rest of her stay, my house was like a mini war zone.
"Mum, I don't want this lady, Eka, or whatever her name is. Efe is my choice," I maintained.
"My decision is final on this issue. So, stop wasting your breath trying to convince me," she stated decisively. "Take your annual leave in two months time and come down to Port Harcourt so you can meet your bride," she ordered.
"Look Tamuno, you know how difficult your mother is. Even if I plead with her from now till eternity, she will not be moved," stated Uncle Rukevwe at his home in Festac Town (a suburb of Lagos) some days after my Mum's departure to Port-Harcourt. He was one of my mother's brothers whom I had gone to table the matter about my 'chosen bride'.
"The advise I'll give you is see the girl, assess her. Let's see what happens from there," he said.
I originally had no intentions of meeting her; what was the point when I was not going to marry her anyway, I had reasoned. I however, decided to listen to Uncle Rukevwe whom I have a lot of regard for and have the meeting.
So, during the last Easter holidays, I took my annual vacation and travelled to Port- Harcourt to see my parents and Eka, whom I prefer to call 'my mother's bride'. For as far as I was concerned, she was no bride of mine. No way will I wed a local village girl when I have a sweet, lovely lady like Efe as my fiancé...
Note: Basket-mouth is the stage name of a popular Nigerian comedian
Olumo Rock is a famous landmark in Abeokuta, capital of Ogun State, Nigeria.
To be continued...
Names have been changed to protect the identity of the narrator and other individuals in the story.
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