Defying Bara
I paid no heed to my wife's words and continued to see Diane and my children. I rented an apartment for her at another side of town and I shuttled between my two homes.
I knew my wife was not happy that I was still seeing Diane despite her threats, but there was nothing I could do about that. All my family members especially my mother were happy with the birth of my boys.
In fact, for the first six months after their birth, she relocated to the city from our village in Delta State just to be with her grandsons. She stayed with Diane and the babies and was very helpful with caring for them.
Diane's mother was dead so she had no one to rely on except my mother. They both got along very well and I was happy to see two of the important women in my life so close.
Back home with my wife, things were not going too well for us. Bara was cold to me most of the time, especially when she suspected I had just returned from visiting Diane and the children.
I tried to be the loving husband I had always been to her. I ensured I provided for her and never deprived her of my love so she would not feel that I was neglecting her because of my other woman.
Things continued that way for a while. My boys were growing fast and it gave me so much joy to see them turn from little, helpless babies into active toddlers running around the house and causing so much noise and havoc.
My best times were spent with them, and most days I was always reluctant to leave them and return home to my wife. At a point, I nursed the idea of bringing Diane and the children home so we could all live together as one family.
After all, my father had married two wives and he had managed his home well till his death, I had reasoned. This was Africa where polygamy was accepted and still practised in many places. But when I thought of my wife's reaction to such a move, I jettisoned the idea.
Then five months later, Diane announced she was pregnant again. I was happy at the news and looked forward to this new addition to the family. The only problem is this: Diane is insisting that I marry her and move in with her as a live in husband before her delivery.
"I'm tired of seeing you a few days a week. I miss you all the time. The children also miss you. I need you now especially in my condition," she said, patting her swollen tummy.
I promised to visit her more and spend more time with her and the children but she was not buying that.
"I want a full time husband not a visiting husband!" she insisted.
I did not mind the idea of being with Diane and my kids full time as I loved them so much. But what about my wife? Moving in with Diane would mean abandoning Bara. I still loved my wife and I couldn't imagine my life without her.
She is important to me having been with me through thick and thin. On the other hand, Diane, my sons and the unborn child were equally important.
Diane is already threatening to cut me off from the children if I did not do as she wants. Knowing the kind of woman she is, I know it's no empty threat. What if she runs away with my children and I never get to see them again?
That is my dilemma. I want to be with my children and their mother but doing so would be at the expense of my marriage. I don't want to divorce my wife. At the same time, I don't want to lose my children who mean the whole world to me and make me feel so proud.
So, what shall I do now? I'm really confused, in a very hard place right now. I need your advice, please.
Should Mike leave his wife so he can be with his children and baby mama or let the children go and stick with his wife? Readers' feedback welcome!
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